Ummm...Title?

I wish I was more diligent in keeping up with this thing, though, I cant see myself changing too much, Im already in an old rut.
Oh LORD, how to I write what work You are doing in our lives? Maybe if I had the gift of articulate speech I could describe a piece of His work in us. Lately, (as in the last 6 months...but more concentratedly now...is that even a word?) I have been wrestling (it seems Im always struggling or wrestling with SOMETHING) with the importance, manifestations, and all around general idea of the Holy Spirit. Where is He in my life? What does He look like for me? For other people? So, Ive been asking lots of people, and talking with lots of people about their experiences and thoughts on the Holy Spirit - It has been AWESOME. Not always, but lately, the LORD has brought me to a place of peace and quietness concerning the whole subject. As if He says "My child, if I choose to take you there, I will take you there, WHEN I TAKE you there."
I have been challenged not to seek the "things", but to seek the LORD. And if I am seeking the LORD with my whole heart, I will find him (Jeremiah 29) and if I find Him and He bids me "Come" I pray that I would with a whole heart, wherever the Master leads!

CAMP. It is funny in some ways that He has us at camp, considering neither of us were particularly bent towards children, the camp atmosphere or the details of the job; However the LORD has been faithful to GIVE us the heart for kids, for boys camp specficially. It has been amazing to see Rocky come alive with ideas and hopes for the boys that will come this summer. There are many struggles still to overcome, it seems as if the camping ministry is dwindling in many circles, so we are now faced with the challenges that presents. We have been challenged to pray boldly lately, to speak things in faith that God will provide. It seems like when we speak, and put ourselves in a place where we are the idiot if He doesnt show up, that is when the LORD comes. When we are ALL in. Will you pray for us, that we would be ALL in, and that camps will FILL this summer - beyond the expectations of any of us.

In these late months I have been much afflicted with thoughts of the conversion of others and my responsibility/privilege of sharing. It seems a simple thought, but it has been one of much confusion and lack of clarity. Even now, as I sit in the local library, I hear another conversation passing by of disgust for "religions" and the pursuit of any of them. Fear and a lack of words so often keeps me from speaking boldly, or knowing when or HOW to speak boldly. In the last few months I have identified that some of the thoughts of "I should" have been ones attached to guilt and condemnation, and there has been great freedom in that.
Through different conversations, I seem to have gathered that it is first and foremost important to love the LORD, then comes the love of others and a desire to see them love Him too. (Comments? Im looking for some feedback) Which brings me to a humbling place of realizing, I dont love the LORD as I often think I do; Im not as far along as I often pridefully think I am.
This season has definitely been one of humility. Recognizing, it seems for the first time, ways in my walk with the LORD that are completely undeveloped.
Ive been reading this book called "A Lineage of Grace" by Francine Rivers which has been phenomenal. They are fictional stories based on the passages of Scripture about the most unlikely of people and how the LORD uses them for His glory. Tamar. Rahab. Ruth. Bathsheba. Mary.
A highly recommended read.

Pictures.

Provision.

The LORD's provision...again

One day this last week I collapsed in tears for the people we have left from this last year of our life, for all the overwhelming changes that we face now, for fears, insecurities, and anything I might have spilled that day. Even though I knew in my head that the Lord has provided community before, and that He has led us here, I started to wonder whether this new move somehow wouldnt have the community I wanted. Part of me also admits that even though I DO want that fellowship with people, I DONT want to leave behind those that Ive shared such sweet fellowship with in this last chapter of our lives. Part of me I think has been holding back from being willing to put myself out there again; even though I so much need it.
Well - the Lord truly has been faithful, since the night that my heart was poured out all over, it has been very clear that God has been blessing my days with people. Sweet people. "New" cousins and friends. Crafting afternoons. Creativity. I even just met a girl in the thrift store who wants to hang out this week.

I have a picture that I would love to post here of a head of barley - signifying the Lords provision for ALL of our needs.

Packing...

Never knew how much STUFF we had. Its making me think a lot, re-evaluate, chuck, thrift, and think of how much worse it will be when/if we have children.

Aiy.

A Gardening Life.

The Lord truly has blessed our garden. I have done nothing of myself. Not even water it, and it has grown. And grown. And grown. I prayed when we planted
those seeds, that we would use this garden as a blessing to others, that we would not be selfish with its crop, but give it freely. Lord help us to do this.



I have thought much of the parallels between a garden and the Christian walk. Weeding often brings me to this place where it seems so clear that sin sprouts
like weeds do, while the good things take care and nurture to grow. When left unattended, even for a seemingly short period of time, weeds (sin) covers the
ground and outnumbers the crop of a righteous seed. When the ground in soft (a soft heart) weeds come up easily, and by the root; but when the ground is
hard, they cling to the soil. In an attempt to clean up my garden (life, walk) I pull and yank at the endless amount of rubble, but if the ground is hard,
the roots tear at the surface. Nothing is uprooted, though there is a clean and tidied look at the surface of it all, there are countless roots of pride,
jelousy, anger spiderwebbing the earth of my heart. All of which take the first opportunity to sprout up again and continue to suck the nutrients from the
plants of patience, self control, selflessness, gentleness, compassion.
Conversely, when the ground is soft, when the heart is meek, the rubble comes up at the roots, not as strong as before.
"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream." (Jer. 17:8)
The seed must be planted, the earth must be watered, and watered, and watered, giving life to the soil and a soft heart - though it is the LORD, and only the
LORD who can make these seeds grow.
Let me water the earth of my heart, faithfully, keeping it soft and moldable so that You, and only You can make the seeds of righteousness grow, and the
weeds of unrighteousness be uprooted at their coming.

Home.

It has felt good to be home, though even that is shifting.
We have been running around from adventure to adventure and have no intentions of stopping yet. We had the opportunity to lead a one week backpacking trip for Peace Country Pioneer Ranch Camps into the Kakwa area. We had an amazing time with the kids, staff and the Rocky Mountain peaks. It seems something deep is unlocked within me when in the company of some of those places.




After our week in Kakwa, my parents came up for the first time to see our life here, some mountains in Jasper/Banff, and the life we are headed into. I am so thankful they got to come when they did.


My definition of home is changing bit by bit. And it has been refreshing to see that in the right time, my stubborn heart softens, and change becomes exciting. Rocky and I have accepted a position at a camp about 6 hours south of where we live now, and are excited, nervous, anxious, terrified, and thrilled at different times throughout the day. We have had a good year here, and I can truly see Gods blessing and guidance throughout our time in the Peace Country. So now its packing chucking thrifting and packing to be out by the end of the week.